Humour

Lighten up!

Life Through the Eyes of Children...

Learning to Share:

Catching her in the act, I confronted our 3-year-old granddaughter, "Are you eating your little sister's grapes?" I demanded.

No," she innocently replied, "I'm helping her share."

School:

The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school.

One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."

My Dad:

Three kids are sitting around the lunch table at school.

One says, "My dad's a lawyer. People pay him $200 for letter with his opinion on it."

Another says, "My dad's a doctor. He writes prescriptions on a little sheet of paper and people pay him $300 for it."

The third says, "My dad's a preacher. He writes a few notes a napkin, tells everyone and it takes 8 people to collect all the money."

Letters from Children to their Pastor:

Dear Pastor,

I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister.

Yours sincerely,

Arnold

Age 8, Nashville

Dear Pastor,

Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson.

Sincerely,

Pete

Age 9, Phoenix

Dear Pastor,

My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something.

Robert

Age 11, Anderson

Dear Pastor,

I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance?

Love,

Patty

Age 10, New Haven

Dear Pastor,

I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland.

Loreen

Age 9, Tacoma

Dear Pastor,

Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow.

Laurie

Age 10, New York City

Dear Pastor,

Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher.

Thank you.

Alexander

Age 10, Raleigh

Dear Pastor,

My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house.

Joshua

Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor,

Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class.

Carla

Age 10, Salina

Dear Pastor,

I like your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished.

Ralph

Age 11, Akron

Dear Pastor,

How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers?

Sincerely,

Marie

Age 9, Lewiston

What is Love?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4-8 year olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than most expected:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore so my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8.

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is okay." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka - age 6

"There are two kinds of love, Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." Jenny - age 8

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine - age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt." Chris - age 7

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 5

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

Good Friday