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Asking Questions

Questions provide openings to gain insight into the history, hurts, values, passions, and beliefs of those with whom we share life and help us to connect more deeply.

This is true of friends, spouse, children and even relative strangers.


Carol and I enjoy having friends over for a meal and on occasion placing a slip of paper under each plate with a question to reflect on before dessert. The questions are generally open-ended, allowing people to take them wherever they choose and to respond at whatever depth they feel comfortable.

Usually Carol or I will begin, responding to the question randomly placed under our place. We try to model candour, transparency and self-disclosure hoping others will follow.

A wide range of questions can be used. (If you'd like a copy to print, please click for PDF or Excel.)

Love is ... One thing I would ask you to change ... The main thing holding me back ...
   
The weakness I'd most like to change ... The thing I'd most like to do before I die ... Three things I appreciate about you...
     
If you were a comic strip character, who would you be and why? What thought or message would you want to put in a fortune cookie? If you won a lottery ticket and had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
     
You've been given access to a time machine.  Where and to which time would you travel? If you could be any superhero and have super powers, which one would you like to be and why? What award would you love to win and for what achievement?
     
If you could transport yourself anywhere instantly, where would you go and why? If someone made a movie of your life would it be a drama, comedy, romantic-comedy, action film, or science fiction? Why? If they made a movie of your life, what would it be about and which actor would you want to play?
     
What is one goal you'd like to accomplish during your lifetime? Who is your hero? (a parent, celebrity or influential person in your life...) The greatest contribution (one or both of) my parents made to my life was ...
     
If you could visit any place in the world, where would you choose to go and why? Name one of your favourite things about someone in your family. If you had to describe yourself using three words, it would be...
     
One thing you probably don't know about me is ... If I could be anybody besides myself, I would be... Why? The thing I find most difficult about myself is ...